So, we got invited to an Indian wedding! Well done Shannon and Sarah! We were very excited about it. We made the decision to go and buy a saree closer to the time so we could “blend” in. It doesn’t matter what we do, we don’t blend in here as two tall white girls (not super tall but tall for India). A friend of Shannon (now a mate of mine), was invited to a cousins, cousins wedding and therefore myself, Shannon and two Germans were tagging along as his guests. I had heard from different people that Indian weddings are huge affairs, which can have a couple of thousand guests and they can go on for a week with different events like henna evenings for women to get together, processions with the groom on a horse, cocktail evenings and the main event. I had heard different things as I’d travelled depending on area and whether it was a city, village or town wedding.

The wedding we were invited to was a small wedding by Indian standards. We were told there would be about 200 or 300 people. We were invited to two events; one being the cocktail evening (with actual alcohol which I was surprised by) and the main event which was the actual official wedding ceremony. 

Since I am an absolute disaster, I’d had more stomach problems and had to miss the cocktail evening and only got to attend the main event. ( I actually cooked mashed spud in the hostel because Nana B told me to, bets idea ever!) Shannon and I decided that getting a saree would be fun but did we actually need one? We’d wear it once, spend money sending it home to our respective countries, where it’d sit in a wardrobe untouched for years. We decided against it but as soon as Shannon saw everyone in their sarees at the cocktail evening she wanted one.

She’d wrangled her way into borrowing a saree for the following days main event. I’d come to terms with being in my regular India travel clothes.

We arrived to the venue where there were loads of people dancing and singing around the groom on his white horse. This was the grooms side of the family. Shannon was 100% correct, everyone was in vibrant colours, the women in sarees and the men in longer tunics of all different colours. I couldn’t help but smile and admire everyone looking so wonderful. I was told the bridal party would be elsewhere getting ready for the big day but this procession was for the groom and his family and friends. We had met our friend’s Aunts and Uncles at a previous family event so we were able to recognise some people who welcomed us with hugs and kisses. When you’re travelling on your own you get used to being anonymous, so when I was welcomed and recognised I felt such warmth and love from these people that knew me a wet week. It was so lovely. Again, like the train ride, you can see the sense of family and community amongst Indians. It reminds me of home so much considering how big my family is and the craic we have at family reunions and weddings!

The aunties looked us up and down and were confused why we weren’t wearing sarees. The German girl needed them to put her saree on and Shannon was going to borrow one so we went to their hotel room. It was fascinating to watch the Aunt and cousin get the girls ready. They found it really weird and difficult to dress the girls as they were so used to doing their own saree, not a saree on another person. When the girls were beautified and ready to go, I was then offered a saree, which I couldn’t say yes to quick enough. It was a pure silk one, 7 meters in length and stunning colours!

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We went out to the main area for drinks and some nibbles where we waited for the bride and groom to enter. They were having a traditional homa, which is a fire ceremony led by a religious figure. These ceremonies can be used for all sorts of occasions. You make offerings of different grains, seeds, ghee, flowers and bark. These offerings and this ritual are important to the new couple to bring them love and prosperity in their marriage. The wedding was an arranged marriage which is still the most popular option in India. Our Indian friends said it is becoming more popular now for young people to choose a love marriage but this is still only in the big cities. Arranged marriages are more successful here, according to everyone we spoke to. The parents will ask around in their friends circles and wider community for a suitable partner for their child. This normally happens when a woman is in her early 20s and the man will be in his mid 20s. When suitable partners are found they go to their temple and meet with an astrologer. This is to ensure they are suitable partners. If they are suitable, the elders (parents and grandparents) make the decision if they will marry. The man or woman getting married can speak to the elders but at the end of the day the decision is not their choice. 

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The groom took his position at the homa and awaited his bride. She entered with her bridal party looking unbelievable. She wore traditional red with loads of jewellery. The saree was incredible. She had bangles around her ankles and wrists, a nose ring connected to her ear, a head scarf and henna all up her arms and legs (not that we could see this as she was well and truly covered). She was stopped for pictures and selfies as she made her way to the area for the homa and everyone was buzzing and chatting. It was so completely different to the weddings I’ve attended in churches, registry offices and function rooms. Imagine jumping up out of the seat to get a selfie with the bride as she’s walking up the aisle? I’d never be allowed attend another wedding! This felt so informal and chilled out. 

As the homa started people were still buzzing and moving about the place. Waiters walked around offering nibbles and drinks. After about 30 minutes the crowd started to disperse because food was being served. So, as this couple are having their wedding ceremony most of the guests are off having their dinner, just so so different to what I know as a wedding. I pottered back and forth from the ceremony for as long as I could (not really understanding each part because we’d lost all the cousins we knew who could explain) so we went for our dinner too. We sat cross legged on beautiful sofas/perches/couches and were served by waiters. It was a mixture of different curries, salads, sweets and deep fried balls of stuff (there are so many different things I can never differentiate or learn the names of them). The food was delicious and once we were done we went back to the ceremony (which was still taking place with much fewer guests). The main people at the ceremony were the immediate family of the couple getting married. After awhile of taking photos and wandering around we got out of our sarees and made our way back to our hostel for a few hours before attending the evening event. 

When we arrived that evening, we had passed about 3 different weddings on the motorway, all having their processions with people dancing and singing, drums beating and giant lanterns lighting their way. Our groom was no different. He was in his circle of friends (all men) dancing with a drummer and a brass band. The German couple were clever and always wore ear plugs. We however were not wearing earphones. Indians must have serious hearing problems with all the noise they put up with in their everyday life. The welcome party was great craic and so fun to watch. The grooms side (male) were all wearing one colour turban while the bride’s side were wearing another. The grooms party started making their way into the venue where they met the bride and went onto the stage. What I didn’t realise, this was their activity for the evening. For the 3 hours we were there, they didn’t move off the stage. They stayed there while different family members and friends came up to take pictures. That was what the evening was for them. For us it was a complete delight. There was the biggest buffet I’ve ever been to. There was literally every Indian thing you can think of lined up. There were waiters walking around with small Indian bites and drinks while there was tables for days of food for us to go and get. I had decided that I’d go hell for leather with the food and suffer the consequences for the wedding. I didn’t know when I’d get to have all this again (FYI I was fine, hooray). 

We never saw the bride and groom come off the stage for the night but we had a great time eating and drinking. I had my first experience of an Indian wedding and I absolutely loved it!